HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR FEAR OF FLYING
I have a confession to make.
Travel is my biggest passion and yet . . . I have a fear of flying.
I’m assuming you have found your way to this page because you struggle with flying too?
I’m sorry - having a fear of flying is an incredibly hard thing to deal with.
My fear began out of the blue in 2017 and at first, I thought . . . . “That’s it. I can never travel again. I’ll never be able to do the things I always dreamed of. I can never start my travel blog - I’m a fraud. What did I even want my life to look like now?” - I wasn’t sure anymore. These thoughts scared me, and they went on a little while longer than I would have hoped. In fact, I always told myself that I would never let my fear beat me, but after the sh*t show that was 2020 - fear, stress, anger, negativity, and anxiety began to consume my life.
By early 2021, I was due to fly to the West Coast for a little road trip, but after weeks of being absolutely convinced I was going to die, I could not step foot inside the airport, let alone get on that plane. So, from my airport hotel bed, I cancelled my trip. The decision to not travel because I was too afraid, absolutely broke me. Depression set in and I felt trapped inside a prison that my own mind had created. Fear had seriously sunk it’s teeth into my life, and I did not think I would ever be able to overcome it. In all honesty, there was a part of me that didn’t want to overcome it - my comfort zone was a place I was finding far too easy to sit in.
But guess what?
I DID overcome it.
Less than 30 days after refusing to enter the airport, I manage to board 2 flights to Alaska from Boston, AND get on a sea plane, something I thought I would never do.
Since then, I have boarded 8 more flights, and I have no intention of stopping there.
I’m not completely over it yet - it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to work on. But I am working on it and I am making progress!
Photo: Me with Captain Tom after our flight over an Alaskan Glacier. Just looking at this photo makes me emotional, I can see how happy I was at overcoming something so crippling
Here’s how I did it, and how I know you can do it too:
Firstly, I want you to know that you are not alone. More people suffer with a fear of flying than you probably realise. Marie, Aggie and Catarina (some of my favourite travel creators) have all talked about having a fear of flying before.
Secondly, and probably most importantly, you CAN overcome your fears. Even if you don’t believe it.
I’m not saying it will be easy, but I promise, you can do it.
With all that being said, here’s my tips on how to overcome your fear of flying:
*Hint – If you explore any of these, please let it be number 9. It changed my life, and I don’t think you will regret it*
Lean on your support network. Having the support of my friends and family was a key ingredient in overcoming my fear. As soon as they realised how much I was struggling, they all came to my rescue, and I am so grateful for that. I believe you can cultivate the most courage when you feel connected to those you love.
Follow people from within the aviation industry on social media. This really helps in realising that they are just normal people who love their lives and would never do anything that would put that in jeopardy. It also helps to see what a non event flying is for them, as they take multiple trips a day. Some of my favourites to follow are: Kat Nesbitt, Captain Chris, Jetting Julia, Fly with Garrett, Pilot Maria, and Maria the Pilot
I read recently that mediation and mindfulness has been incorporated into military training and has been scientifically proven to calm the mind, making you less likely to react in stressful situations. This was enough encouragement for me to give it a try. I can’t quite believe what a powerful effect it had on calming my breathing and regulating my heart rate. Just 10 - 20 minutes first thing in the morning practiced regularly, allowed me to tap in to a more logical part of my mind. My favourite meditations are: The Courage Meditation by Travis Eliot and Radhi Devlukia’s meditation for stress and anxiety.
I know meditation might not be for everyone, but do not underestimate the power of your breath. This breathing exercise can really help relax you.
Be careful what you do read. Often, not everything you will read is true and is over dramatized to sell stories, so there is no point adding any fuel to your anxious fire.
Soul Search. What is it that you truly want? What would you do if fear wasn’t getting in your way? Dig deep to search for that desire that is stronger than your fear. It can be difficult to do this when you are consumed by fear, but it’s there, you just have to find it. It took me a while, but eventually I realised that my fear was already stealing my life away from me, so why not fight it in the hope that something greater will present itself to you?
Be inspired - By all the people around you who love to travel, and who aren’t afraid to fly
Dream - About all the places you want to visit, all the food you want to eat and all the people you want to meet
Focus on how you will feel after your flight. I knew I would feel good after I found the courage to fly again, but I underestimated just how amazing it would feel. One of the best things about walking towards our fears, is how liberating it is in every aspect of our lives, allowing us to feel like we can achieve absolutely anything.
Book yourself on to a Lovefly course.
Lovefly, established by Paul Tizzard, founder of Virgin Atlantic’s Flying without Fear Programs, has been helping nervous flyers for over 25 years. His calming approach alone is bound to make you feel at ease. Former Cabin Crew himself, he has established a catalogue of amazing contacts from within the Aviation industry who can reassure any of your concerns. He’s developed a whole host of free help, such as blogs and podcasts as well as a weekly LIVE Q&A in his facebook community. I take advantage of these on a weekly basis, but also signed up to his 30 day program, and it completely changed my life. I cannot recommend Lovefly highly enough.
P.S I made a guest appearance on a Lovefly podcast, & you can hear more about my journey here
Now, all that is left is to book that flight!! I know it’s not the answer you want, but the best way to tackle a fear really is to face it head on.
I try not to drink coffee or alcohol before I fly, as it just increases my anxiety levels, and so I opt for water instead. Don’t be afraid to tell the flight attendants how you are feeling, they can help put your mind at rest and should keep checking on you. Remember to breathe, and look out the window. How lucky are we to see above the clouds!?
Be kind to yourself, you are not going to see results over night, but it can and it will get better.
If you have a fear of flying too, I’d love to hear your tips on how you deal with it! So please comment below :)